The Good
by MarcoLover16
Summary: I'm back. After a long time. With another James/Lily for you. Go inside to discover what it's about. And the author's note there may be useful for anyone who follows anything else of mine.
1. Bored

Author's Note: Marcolover16 is back! I kind of wish I could change the name, but Marcolover16 is who I was, and I suppose I will remain so…at least for now. It's been a while since I've posted anything. I know. I have plenty of incomplete stories out there that could use continuation, which I shall see about in the future. If any are to be updated, the first will probably be either Sick or Just Passing Through. Why, when I have returned after such a long time, have I decided to start a completely new story? Add more to my plate? I may just be a little crazy. The thought of writing fanfiction again is exciting! I may end up regretting starting this one and not just continuing with others, but here goes. Enjoy. :). Also, I'll mention that…I don't know if I'm generally a fan of when other people do this. I hope I won't turn off others by doing so, but I plan to have this change back and forth, perhaps chapter by chapter, between people. This may only go on in the beginning. I'm not entirely sure. I have vague plans. Anyway, here you go.

James was bored. Totally, completely bored. Times like these made him wish that he was not an only child.

He'd sent three letters to Sirius and received no response. _Three _letters. And not all in one week, either. His parents were working full-time jobs, his two other best friends were off gallivanting with their families in Europe, and Sirius, the one person he had counted on to break the monotony this summer, was completely ignoring him.

And damnit, he was bored.

"_I doubt that he's ignoring you, James," _his mother had said the previous night. _"You know he has family troubles. Perhaps they are not allowing him to answer."_

But James knew that Sirius would not listen to a rule like that. The way he saw it, there were two scenarios:

Sirius was ignoring him.  
Sirius was in danger, hurt, or dead.

James was not sure he believed Sirius' parents would actually _kill _him. He was not so worried about that. They were more like verbal attackers, though they had been known to strike him, both with hands and wands.

No, he was not dead. James was pretty sure of that.

"_We will go over there, James," _his father had assured him. _"If he doesn't answer you soon, we'll make sure it's all right."_

But how soon was soon? How long would he have to deal with insufferable boredom?

James decided right then and there that when his parents were home from work, they were all going to check it out. There would be no excuses. Sirius could be in danger, and James _was_ in danger. Of wasting time.

"SHIT!"

James realized that no, they could not just go and scoop him up. How had he possibly forgotten the protection that had been put on the house?

"I might as well just sleep the rest of the day away," James said aloud to his empty room, as though someone would have a response.

Just as he was getting in bed to do just that, there was a soft tap on his window.

"Thank God!"

James ran to the window, pulled it open, and smiled at Remus' owl. "Well, a response from Sirius may have been more helpful, Caleb. But this'll do."

James opened the letter slowly, relishing every moment of having something to do.

"What have you got to say, my long lost friend?"

_James,_

_Let me get this part out of the way: Sirius hasn't answered any of my letters, either. Are you worried or angry? I'm more worried, honestly. I can't see him just ignoring. We're generally the highlight of his summer, no? _

_I am so ready to come home. Traveling has had its positives, but I've had about enough. Not to mention, my means of transforming are not as fun abroad… If you ask me, my parents were crazy to attempt it. I have seen some really interesting stuff, though. _

_How has your summer been, though? I hope you've found something fun to do. I feel rather guilty now that you don't have Sirius to turn to. I was sure that while Peter and I were away, you two would have plenty of time together. I guess I was wrong about that. What have you been up to? Have you sent any letters to a certain girl? If so, I do hope you're not being stupid about it. If you've managed to make things better with her, you don't want to go and mess it up._

James rolled his eyes. Did Remus have no faith in him?

_Have you made things better? None of us knows what's going on. I'm sure we'd all like to know where you stand. Are you still, as you said, "working on her?"I'm afraid I'm just a bit confused. Clear it up for me, please? _

_Anyway, thank you so much for the birthday present. I haven't had many spare moments, but I'm dying to read it. And you know I'll speed through it when I do. I've never had my birthday away from home before. It was strange. _

_I'd better get going now. Tell your family I said hello. And if you see Sirius, give him a good punch for worrying me._

_Remus_

_P.S. That sounded a bit too womanly. Great._

James laughed out loud at Remus' addition, immediately grabbed his quill and parchment, and set out answering the letter.

_Remus,_

_The summer has been horrible. Nothing to do. Nothing. Don't feel guilty, though. It's not your fault, and I'm glad you've had a good time. Only a couple more weeks till you return. I'm not too worried about. I feel like he'll turn up in the end, even if that means at Hogwarts. I'm just pissed that I'll have to continue with this nothing of a summer I'm having. _

_As for Project Lily Evans: I'll talk to you when I see you. _

_But don't doubt me. I'm being very not annoying. Promise._

_Well, I'm trying anyway. It's hard to tell what's going to be annoying and what isn't. I've only sent one letter, and I got one in return! Don't you dare look surprised. I'll ha_

James' writing was interrupted by a loud banging on the front door. He dropped his quill and left to answer it.

"I'm coming," he shouted, as he rushed down the stairs.

James did not remember his mother saying they would have any visitors. She always told him before she left when to expect any sort of guest. He supposed he could have been half asleep when she told him. She left for work so early…

When James pulled open the door, however, he realized it was not a guest his mother would have known about.

"Sirius!"

James' initial excitement at seeing one of his best friends in his doorway faltered when he saw the state of him. He had a large bruise by his eye, blood dripping down his lip, which he every so often wiped on his sleeve. There were bags under his eyes, suggesting he had not slept in days.

James was sort of sorry for his bored comments. Sirius clearly had not been having the most delightful summer himself.

"Well, you don't look so happy to see me," said Sirius, smiling slightly.

"Of course I am," said James, blinking. "You're just—"

"Yeah, sort of a mess, I know."

"What the hell's _happened_ to you?" James asked, ushering him inside.

Sirius seemed thrilled to be invited in and picked up the trunk by his side that James had failed to notice. Judging by how heavy it seemed to be, Sirius was not planning on staying just a few days.

He carried the trunk only a few steps into the room and let it drop. He did not bother to answer James' question.

"I can't go back," he said simply.

"Home?" James asked. He knew the answer was obviously yes, but he could not think of what else to say at that moment. He knew that Sirius would probably make this out to be a happy occurrence. He was done with Grimmauld Place for good. But he also knew that Sirius was not so happy inside. He did not want things to be the way they were.

Sirius nodded. "I'm not asking to stay here."

"You can," said James immediately.

"…but I figured I could at least come here first, have some fun…"

Sirius was looking anywhere but at James. James knew Sirius was embarrassed to ask for a place to stay. He felt that the Potters had done enough for him, and he hated the thought of imposing.

"You'll stay here," said James firmly.

Sirius shrugged.

"Grab your trunk. We're going upstairs."

James was not about to let Sirius decide to sleep in the woods somewhere. Not when there was a perfectly good guest room in the Potter household.

After James had convinced Sirius to put his stuff in the guestroom (which truthfully didn't take too _much _convincing), they both went to James' bedroom.

James was pleased to see that Sirius had become very much himself again after only a few minutes of conversation.

"They locked you up?"

"Yeah, it was no big deal," said Sirius, shrugging. He helped himself to one of James' chocolate frogs. "I'm more interested in this whole Evans deal."

"There's no deal," said James, but it did not convince Sirius.

"Don't lie to me," he said, biting off the frog's head. "I know you became friends or whatever you want to call it."

James tried to hide his smile. "I'm not getting my hopes up, okay?"

"Just tell me what's been going on. I've missed everything. Bloody parents…"

Sighing, James said, "Okay. Let me just finish my letter to Remus, and I'll tell you about it."

Grabbing the quill, which had spread a considerable amount of ink across the letter, James continued writing.

_Okay, so Sirius is here now. He's okay, but he'll be spending the rest of the summer at my house. Don't worry yourself anymore. I won't punch him because he's been beaten up enough. See you soon…ish._

_James_

Sending Caleb off with the letter, James turned to find Sirius looking expectantly at him, arms crossed and all.

"Well?"

James ran a hand through his messy hair and collapsed onto his bed. "We…talked. Before the end of term."

"I know," said Sirius, waiting for more.

"It was…nice…"

Sirius grinned. "What kinda nice?"

"Not…that nice. Just…I meant…it didn't end in misery. And she smiled, I think. Once or twice. And then when we talked on the train—"

"She told you to 'have a nice summer, James,'" Sirius interrupted, attempting to imitate Lily's voice. "I know that part, too."

"Well…yeah," said James slowly. "Anyway, so I took that as a good sign. It was pleasant, non-threatening, and she used my first name. I didn't want to push anything…"

James rose from the bed and crossed to the other side of the room, opening the top drawer on his dresser. He pulled out a crumpled piece of paper.

"I wrote two copies, knowing you'd all ask me about it."

Sirius shook his head, still grinning.

"I didn't want to push anything, so I just sent the one letter. Just one letter, instead of my usual…" He paused, frowning.

"Six billion," Sirius finished for him.

"Sure. And I tried to make it all," he smiled, "nice. And not…annoying."

"Let me see it then," said Sirius, grabbing the letter from James' hand.

"Dear Lily."

James groaned. "_Must _we read it aloud?"

Sirius continued as though James had not said anything. "Please don't chuck this straight away. It's not bad. Oh, James…"

"She's had too many bad letters, Padfoot. Of me begging her to go out with me. I couldn't risk it."

Rolling his eyes, Sirius continued, "I wanted to ask how your summer has been. Mine has been perfectly boring all by myself. Sometimes it sucks to be an only child. I do hope you're doing well and that you've continued to read this." Sirius paused to shake his head. "I don't know if my sending this will be a bother to you. I'm afraid I don't know whether I have your friendship or not. Take care, James."

There were a few moments of silence. Finally, "Well, you sound like you're whipped."

"_Whipped?" _said James, affronted. "How could I be _whipped? _We're not even dating."

Sirius shrugged. "Don't ask me. I didn't write the letter. Did she respond?"

James nodded.

"Well, you must have done something right. Hand that one over, too."

James fished the letter out of the drawer and let Sirius grab it once again from his hand. "This is quite the moment, James. The first letter Lily's ever responded to."

"Not true," said James. "There was the one where she simply wrote: Go away."

"Right," said Sirius, laughing at the memory. "I bet you've still got it somewhere."

James shifted his eyes to the ceiling. "That," he said, "is none of your concern."

Sirius unfolded the letter. "I'll search your drawers for it later. But for now…

James, I have to say that your letter came at a pretty good time. I am also not having the best summer. While being an only child may "sometimes suck," so can having a sister. But why have you been alone? Where have all your friends been? Surely, you aren't spending the whole summer without them? Hope it improves. Lily. P.S. Yes, James. You can consider me your friend."

Silence again.

"Well, let me have your response," said Sirius.

"I told you I just sent one letter," James reminded him, crossing the room again to sit on his bed.

Sirius' mouth fell open. "James, she asked you direct questions here. She _wants _you to write back."

James shrugged, closing his eyes. He felt that would be too good to be true. "She could just be being polite."

"Okay, and your response to her politeness is to…ignore her?"

James sighed, and he sat up to look Sirius in the eyes. "I didn't plan on this being…constant correspondence. Just to check up on her. I don't want to push her away. To have her as my friend is a God-send. I don't want to ruin that."

Sirius looked understanding. There was no teasing glint in his eyes. "I know, mate. I do. But you've already made it correspondence. She's asked you questions. And I think," he paused, "I think as long as you be careful about what you say, you should be fine."

Sirius took the liberty of going to grab James spare parchment and his quill and ink. He placed it on the bedside table.

"Write."

Again, James sighed. "I don't know what to say."

Despite this, he turned himself to face the bedside table, his legs now on the floor. As he wrote, he spoke each word quietly.

" _Lily,"_

"It's weird to write her first name, you know," he told Sirius.

Sirius shrugged. "Come on, you've wasted valuable time. She could be pissed right now."

"_I'm sorry it's taken so long to return your write you back. I was unsure whether or not you would appreciate…"_

"No," said James, crossing it out. "This letter's going to be pathetic."

"Girls like pathetic, James," said Sirius encouragingly.

James raised his eyebrows at him. "Says who?"

"Well, your last letter was rather pathetic, and she seemed to like it. And well…they like sappy, don't they? Pathetic=sappy. Sappy=pathetic. I—"

"I get it," said James, rolling his eyes. "Let me just…do this."

James was not feeling so confident. While his last letter to Lily had produced pretty good results, he was not sure about this one. If Sirius was right, that she _had _wanted a response, she could have been angry with him. She may have thought he felt he was too good to answer or something else that would have been equally as bad or worse. And if she _didn't_ want a response, then getting another letter from James could make her angry.

"Damnit," he said, tearing up the letter. He took more parchment from the pile Sirius had given him. "I'm so _nervous." _

"Getting more and more pathetic every day, I swear," said Sirius.

"_Lily,_

_I am sorry it has taken me this long to respond to your letter, and I am very pleased that you chose to send one. The reason I _was _alone was Remus and Peter have been away, and Sirius was not returning my letters."_

"Making me sound like the bad guy," Sirius muttered.

"_He is here now, th—"_

"Hey!" Sirius shouted suddenly, making James knock the ink over. "Tell her you've taken me in. Go on, tell her I've run away from a bad place and you, being all caring, have taken me in. She'll love it."

James wanted to argue with him, tell him that doing that was exploitation and possibly manipulation, but…it _was _true, after all. He was taking Sirius in. Perhaps his parents could have been given some of the credit for that, despite the fact that they didn't know yet.

But it was true. Sirius was staying with him. Sirius had run away. And it wasn't as though he were bringing it up out of nowhere. He had just said that Sirius was there now…

"_ough. As it turns out, he was unable to answer my letters. He has run away from… _Oh, no. She might think you're irresponsible for running away, and I for not sending you back. Is it okay if I vaguely describe the circumstances?"

Sirius waved a hand dismissively. "I don't care."

"_an abusive home. He will be spending the rest of his summer here. I'm looking forward to the new school year. I suppose you are, as well. I am sorry to hear about your sister. You can vent about it if it'll help any."_

"You've certainly gotten the hang of this caring thing," said Sirius. He got out of the spinning chair he'd been sitting in and made his way to James' dresser.

James didn't bother to stop him.

"I do care," he said quietly.

While Sirius rummaged around in his dresser, James continued his letter, "_Who knows, maybe we'll see each other when we go for our school supplies?"_

Sirius snorted. "'Who knows' was a good touch, man."

"_I hope your summer has improved/will improve_

_James."_

"Torie!" Sirius called immediately. "Torie, we neeeed you."

Obediently, James' owl flew into the bedroom moments later, ready for her flight.

James sealed the letter, pet Torie gently, and sent her off with it.

"Aha!"

Sirius had found, underneath James' pajamas, the infamous letter. "This," he said, shaking it, "is the epitome of pathetic."

James shrugged. "It's her handwriting. It's all I had."

"Anyway," said Sirius, leaning on the dresser, "what is your plan?"

"We're friends. And I'm not going to push her into anything further until the time is right. We're friends, at least loosely using the term, and I like that better than enemies. For now…"

"You're friends."

"Yes," said James, "and I'm going to be careful not to ruin that."


	2. Stupid Boys

**Author's Note: Well, here you are. Another chapter. Had two other stories to update first. **_** Sick **_**will be updated next, I think. Then, **_**Just Passing Through**_**. I may generally update in this cycle. If any of you reading this are not reading **_**Sick…**_**it'd be cool to have new lovers of that story. :). Enjoy and pleeease review. Also, there's a slight change in this story from **_**The Deathly Hallows. **_**It's really not that big of a deal, just that Lily and Petunia share a room. Not that crazy. **

Lily Evans opened her eyes reluctantly when her covers were pulled off. Groaning, she shoved her face into her pillow.

"Mum wants you up, Lily," said her elder sister, tapping her foot impatiently.

"It's too early," Lily replied, her voice only slightly audible.

"It's one."

"Is it, really?" Lily asked, surprised. Forcing herself to sit up, she looked suspiciously at Petunia. "It's one?"

Petunia rolled her eyes. "Get up and check the clock if you don't believe me. I've done my job."

Petunia left the room, leaving Lily alone. She glanced at the bed next to her. As usual, it was neatly made, looking as though it had not been slept in in weeks. But it had been used the night before.

Lily sighed and rubbed her tired eyes. She had taken to sleeping very late this particular summer. What was she going to do when school started?

Pushing through her sleepiness, Lily left her bedroom without changing her clothes. She went into the living room to find her mother sitting with the newspaper.

"Hey," said Lily, announcing her presence.

Lily's mother, Elizabeth, put down the newspaper. "Well, good _morning, _darling," she said cheerfully.

"Did you need anything or-"

"I just don't want you to sleep your whole summer away," said Elizabeth. "You're seventeen. Snap your fingers, and you'll be thirty. You don't want to waste your life, do you?"

Resisting the strong urge to roll her eyes, Lily said, "No, Mum."

Elizabeth picked up her paper again. "Lily, dear, why don't you go on and get dressed? I would like you and Petunia to go and do something productive today."

Petunia, who had just entered the living room, immediately began to defend herself. "Mum, I've be—"

"Together," Elizabeth added.

Lily and Petunia glanced at each other, then turned to their mother. "Mum," said Lily, "I was going to go see Dad today. He and I already talked."

Elizabeth did not seem put out. "Well, that's perfect. You'll both go to see your father. Together."

Lily glanced at her sister again. Petunia clearly did not find this idea perfect at all, but she grudgingly agreed. "Fine," she said. "But I have plans tonight, so you'd better hurry up and get ready."

Not resisting, in this case, the urge to roll her eyes, Lily ran off to her room to change.

She quickly changed out of her green pajama shorts and brown t-shirt and into more formal attire, black tights, a skirt, and a silk button-up green shirt. If she were with anyone but family, she would have skipped the tights, as it was dreadfully warm, but she knew her audience well.

Petunia entered the room while Lily was fastening her shoes. She sat on her bed silently.

"What?" Lily asked, knowing Petunia was not there to get ready herself.

"You received a letter from James the other day."

Lily did not show Petunia any sort of shock; it would have satisfied her too much. "Yeah, so?"

"Is this the same James we've heard oh-so-much about over the years? The one you hate?"

Her shoes done, Lily rose from her spot on the floor. "I never hated him, Petunia. But James Potter, yes."

Petunia raised her eyebrows. They were now looking at each other. "What changed there?"

"I thought you were in a hurry," said Lily, leaving the bedroom without answering Petunia's question. Petunia followed.

"We'll be back in a few hours, Mum," Lily called out when they reached the front door.

"Take your time!"

Things were silent between the sisters while they walked to the car. Once they were seated with the doors shut, however, Petunia questioned Lily again.

"So, what changed?"

"Drive," Lily demanded, staring out her side window.

Petunia started the car and did, indeed, start driving, but this did not prevent her from questioning Lily further. "Lily, what's the deal?"

Lily turned to Petunia and said coldly, "And why would I tell you anything about my life?"

"Fine," said Petunia. Lily was not sure if her comment had bothered her or not. "I'll just read your mail and piece together what I can."

"Stay out of my stuff!" Lily snapped. She crossed her arms over her seat-belted chest. "It's none of your damn business."

Petunia shrugged.

For a while, the only sound was Petunia's fingers drumming on the wheel. Lily was deep in thought. Petunia did not question her any further.

But Lily was desperate to talk about her concern, and her sister, despite their differences, could possibly be of assistance.

"Well," said Lily softly, "James and I are friends now…"

"Obviously," said Petunia.

"Well, at least…I think we are… The thing is, Petunia, James has been interested in me for years. Asking me out here and there, desperately trying to get me to give him a chance. And for the past…at least three summers…he's been sending me non-stop letters, right?" She was not sure if Petunia was paying attention or not, but she continued. "And like after all these years of not being friends, we're friends. Or so I thought… And anyway, we're finally maybe friends, and he barely writes me… Is that weird?"

Petunia was silent for a moment. "Well, Lily, this is apparently none of my business, but…" Lily rolled her eyes. "Is it possible that he's just won the chase?"

Lily furrowed her brows, unsure what Petunia meant. "But the chase was to get me to go out with him, if there was a chase at all."

"Maybe," said Petunia. "But maybe that no longer matters to him. Maybe…maybe he's not so cruel as to get you to fall for him, and then dump you. Maybe he's revised his bet—if he bet on it. Would you say he would bet on it? I bet he would. Most men are pigs."

"I don't know…" Lily was not sure whether or not James would bet on this.

"Well, yes. Perhaps it's that or something else that has made him end it here. But I would say there's a very good chance that he has given up now that's he's gotten you as his friend. Now that you're his friend, he doesn't _need _you to be his friend anymore. You know?"

Lily did not respond.

"I mean, did you really believe he was like…_in love _with you, Lily? Come on."

"No," said Lily_, _watching the road ahead of them.

Was Petunia right? Was that exactly what had happened with James? Did Petunia mean what she was saying, or was it her jealousy talking? Did she want Lily to believe this while she herself thought it untrue? Or did Petunia delude herself into thinking it was true when it actually was not?

It certainly did seem a decent explanation for James' lack of contact.

"We must be civil for Dad," said Lily. They were only blocks away from their destination.

"I know."

"Even when he asks me about school. I know you don't like it, but it—"

"I _know, _Lily."

"Okay," said Lily, throwing her hands up in surrender. "Just making sure."

Moments later, they had pulled into the lot outside of their father's flat. Lily got out of the car quickly, eager to have her father as a distraction from her troubles. She ran ahead of Petunia, expertly making her way quickly to the correct flat on the third floor.

She knocked and waited. Petunia was at her side before the door was opened.

Just as Lily was about to knock again, the door opened, revealing a very happy-looking John Evans.

"Girls, come in," he said. "I was expecting one, and I was treated to two."

"Hey, Dad," said Petunia, reaching up to hug him. Lily did the same.

Lily noted that her father looked different, a good different. His hair had been cut, his face was smoothly shaved, and he looked happy. Not only happy to see them, but happy in general.

She wondered if Petunia noticed, but she was already talking their father's ear off about college.

They made their way to the living area, Petunia and her father on the couch, Lily in the armchair across from them, paying attention to only parts of Petunia's discussion about teachers and classes. Petunia had not seen their father for the entire summer; she had a lot to catch him up on. Unlike Petunia, Lily had seen him a few times already. Finally, after what seemed like years, it died down.

John turned to Lily. "How are things with you, Lily? Are you looking forward to going back to school?"

Petunia seemed to give an involuntary twitch at the mention of school for Lily, but she said nothing.

"I'm okay. Yeah, I am. Summer's been pretty dull," said Lily. "But it's my last year there, kinda sad to see it end."

John nodded. "Yes, that's understandable. I felt the same way when I finished high school. Of course, my high school was not the same as Hogwarts."

Lily smiled, certainly agreeing with that.

"No boyfriend?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lily laughed. "No, Dad. No boyfriend."

John shook his head. "I just don't understand that. The two of you, such beautiful girls, never a boyfriend."

Lily's smile fell slightly. This reminded her of things she had wanted her father to distract her from. "So, Dad," she tried changing the subject, "how's summer treating you?"

"Wonderfully," said John, not seeming to mind the change at all. "I like to laugh at all the other adults who work full-year while I'm sleeping past nine."

"Not that I don't like my job," he added. "But time off is nice, as well."

"Yeah, Mum might feel the same," said Petunia.

Lily was now scanning the room, adding more curiousness to the situation. There was one thing that Lily had been very happy that her father shared with her; neither one of them was very tidy. Both of them tried, but just as one says at the beginning of the school year, "This year, I'll be on top of everything. I'll always—", it never held. Things would end up, while not necessarily a huge mess, certainly not spotless.

And this room was spotless.

Lily got up without a word to check the rest of the flat. Petunia said nothing, probably under the impression that she was heading to the bathroom, but her dad knew better.

"Lily?"

Lily ignored him, concentrating on her task. After searching every room, she came back to the room Petunia and John were still in.

She sat back down in the armchair.

"Did you get a maid, Dad?" she asked.

"With my teacher's salary and paying for Petunia's college? I don't think so, Lily."

"Just because you're a slob, Lily, doesn't mean everyone is," said Petunia snidely.

Lily gave her a look. She turned to her father.

And then it clicked.

The shaving, the haircut, the _happiness_, the clean flat.

Lily stood up. "Petunia, we've gotta go."

John sighed. "Lily—"

"We have to go. I just remembered—I need—Petunia, we've g_ot _to go."

"Lily, I'm not ready to go," said Petunia, looking irritated.

"Fine," said Lily, grabbing the keys from the coffee table. "I'll just go wait in the car. Bye, Dad."

Before either of them could respond, Lily was out the door. No one came after her.

….

Lily was pleased to see that a letter had come from James while she was out. Not that it completely took away the possibility of Petunia being right. It did not seem a response that showed much interest at all. He may have only sent it out of pity or the feeling that he _had _to.

That night after dinner, Lily sat down to discuss it with her mother. She laid the story out for her, the way she had done for Petunia, but added in Petunia's theory and her fear—was fear the word?—that it may have been true.

When Lily was done, Elizabeth laughed. "Oh, Lily. Perhaps he's just busy?"

"He's never been too busy for me," Lily muttered. "But now that he is, I may no longer be a priority. Petu—"

"Lily," said her mother, taking Lily's hand. Her brown eyes were kind, but serious. "I will not say that boys never do stupid things. I will not say that chasing a girl simply for the chase is…something I can't imagine. But Lily, this boy…all these years he has been chasing you. If he hasn't dated other girls, I mean…that seems like someone who's pretty focused on one thing. Because, though I can imagine a boy doing that other stuff, like I said, I also know that a fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen-year-old boy will want to date and kiss and…well, you can imagine."

"Well, maybe that would have made me more difficult to win."

"Maybe," said Elizabeth, shrugging. "But…I don't know, Lily. I wouldn't commit yourself to the idea that he has not been sincere. If you want to protect yourself by not giving in entirely—"

"Giving in?" Lily asked, startled. "What, you mean go out with him? Mum, this is strictly a friendship. I was not intending on dating him."

"Well, if you want to protect yourself by not giving into the idea that he definitely has been sincere, I will understand. I suggest you keep your mind open and understand that he probably has his reasons for his lack of communication, dear. And they may not be anything you're thinking of."

Lily shrugged.

"And Lily, you must remember one important thing," said Elizabeth.

"What's that?"

"Boys," she said, "are very, very stupid."

Lily laughed, but turned it into a cough. Her mother looked completely serious.

**Author's Note: Who wants to review? :).**


	3. Potentially Problematic

Author's Note: The cycle continues. This chapter is…well, you may be disappointed that it ends where it does rather than going into more action. But I decided to end it there. Don't worry. There'll be more. Enjoy.

This was the best day ever. James was sure of it. He was beyond excited. He could not take the smile off his face. Today was the day that he would get to see Lily Evans for the first time since sixth year, and she was his _friend. _

James would get to see Lily potentially every day at Hogwarts for a year as his _friend _if he didn't screw anything up. And as more if he got _really _lucky. But James was not going to try to push that luck. No, James would try to slowly ease her in, if he could. And if he could make her and then keep her as a close friend, that could possibly give him years after school ended to win her. Rushing could be bad. He would try not to rush.

"So excited, so excited," James said, trying to keep from skipping across King's Cross.

"You're an idiot," said Sirius. "And I'm not associating myself with you right now." He started running.

"Hey!"

James chased after Sirius, aware that his parents were laughing behind him. "James, if you crash that poor bird!" his mother shouted.

James and Sirius stopped before the barrier and waited for James' parents to catch up with them. When they did, James was sure he saw tears in his mother's eyes.

Serena Potter handed her purse to her husband, who took it wordlessly, and put her hands on James' shoulders. "I am so proud of you, James," she whispered.

"Mum…"

Serena gave him a stern look before continuing. "I am so proud of everything you are and everything I know you can be. You are intelligent, good-hearted, funny, brave, ambitious. I feel so lucky to call you my son."

James turned his eyes to Sirius, checking for laughter, but Sirius was determinedly looking elsewhere.

Looking back at his mother, he said, "Thanks, Mum. Love you."

"I'm proud of you, too," said his father. "I don't know where this Head Boy thing came from, honestly, but I do hope you'll honor it."

"Yeah, yeah," said James.

"Merlin, an adult now," said Serena, blinking away tears. "You're going to be leaving us…"

James laughed. "Mum, don't worry. You're not losing me." He turned to Sirius. "You ready, mate?"

"I'll catch up," he said.

After hugging his mother, father, and mother again, James ran through the barrier. He could not help but grin when he saw the Hogwarts Express. He was getting closer and closer to seeing Lily.

As he was getting onto the train, he heard her name.

"You are _so _immature, Lily!"

James paused in the doorway, waiting for more. Lily being called immature was not something James was used to. He moved out of the way for other people to get through, but hung close enough to the door to hear more of the conversation.

He could not be positive it was his Lily they were talking about.

Not _his _Lily. But Lily Evans.

"I'm not being immature! Just because _you _don't understand, Petunia—"

"I understand you're being ridiculous. You're alienating the only man who has ever and will ever give a damn about you!"

"Petunia! That is certainly not true, and that language is not necessary. People are _staring."_

A third voice. Probably Lily's mother.

James wondered if they were talking about him.

"Oh, no. I'm sorry. There was your friend Severus, too, but you drove him away, as well! Just like you're doing with Dad."

James raised an eyebrow curiously. Lily was pushing away her father?

"Just go to school, Lily. Just leave. Nobody wants you here, anyway."

"Petunia!"

"Forget it, Mum. She's—"

James decided it would be better for him to stop eavesdropping and left Lily to her personal conversation (he had indeed recognized the voice as the correct Lily's), heading to the Prefect's compartment.

Shortly after James sat down, the door to the compartment opened.

His heart caught in his throat when he saw her. She was incredible. Her long red hair had grown even more over the summer, now passing her breasts. There were slight waves throughout it. She did not look at James, so he was unable to see her eyes, which was unfortunate. Lily's eyes were one of the first things that had attracted him to her years ago. She pushed her hair behind her shoulders before closing the compartment door and walking to find a seat in the largest student compartment on the train.

She did all of this without seeming to notice she was not alone.

Rubbing her eyes tiredly, Lily sat down not far from James and sighed. James was able to admire her beauty for a full two minutes more before Lily noticed he was there.

"Oh, my G-!" Lily exclaimed, grabbing her chest. She tried to steady her breathing.

James wasn't sure if it was okay to laugh. Then, Lily started to.

"What the _hell_, James? You _knew _I thought I was alone in here."

"I'm sorry," said James quickly, hoping he had not screwed up already, before having said a word.

"I'm usually the first one here; it's early," she said. Then, she looked at him, her brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you doing in here, anyway?"

"I'm actually…Head Boy?" he said slowly. "I know, it's weird."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "No kidding? Hmm."

"Yeah, I," James began, pulling the badge out of his pocket, "I didn't really want to parade around with it on."

"Ashamed?" she asked, smiling teasingly.

Lily Evans was smiling at him, and it was absolutely breath-taking. James found himself smiling, too. Perhaps too happily.

"Oh," he said, clearing his throat. "Well, I wouldn't say—I just—how are you, Lily?"

….

"It was _incredible."_

"I can imagine."

"I am dying of excitement."

"Merlin, how much more of this do I have to hear?"

The marauders were making their way to their dormitory for the first time during their last year at Hogwarts. James had treated them all to the story of Lily and James in the Prefect Compartment. Remus, who had even been in the Prefect Compartment for some of it, did not seem very annoyed with James' storytelling and amazement.

"He's excited, Padfoot. Let him rejoice."

"He's been excited all day," said Sirius, pushing the dormitory door open. "Skipping through the corridors at home before setting off to the train station. It was ten in the morning; he has too much energy."

"He's excited," Peter repeated.

"Wait!" James shouted.

Peter was about to sit down when James' exclamation frightened him. He turned around. Sirius and Remus also looked at him curiously.

"This is the _last _first time here we will ever have. You can't just sit down. Look around for a second. Take it in."

Sirius raised an eyebrow, but they did as they were told.

"Okay, now you can sit down, Peter," said James.

"I'm glad we have to have our actions approved by you, Prongs," said Sirius, getting into his own bed. His tone was sarcastic, but his eyes were kind. "So, plan 'Get-Evans-in-my-bed' is going well?"

James, still standing in the doorway, bent to unlock his trunk, grabbed a sock and threw it at Sirius.

"That is _not _what it's called," he laughed. "But it certainly seems to be going well. I thought you didn't want to discuss it?"

Sirius shrugged. "I probably shouldn't have got you started on the topic, true, but I'm rooting for you, James."

"We all are," Remus added.

….

"Never."

"Please?"

"_Never."_

Alice wanted Lily to "start a romance" with James Potter. She felt it would be exciting, fun, sexy, beautiful, heart-warming, and whatever other words and phrases she had listed in her attempt to make Lily give in.

"You could fall in love an—"

"_No, _Alice," said Lily firmly, shaking her head. "It's not happening. Ever."

Lily and Alice had the Gryffindor Common Room to themselves, as it was after midnight, and most students had gone to bed, some with resolutions that this year they would do better, go to every class, get everything done.

Lily and Alice did not have much to worry about in that category. They had always tried and done their best. They had always received excellent marks, subtracting the possibility of a bad day here and there. They always went to all their classes unless dreadfully ill. They had no resolutions to make. They knew they would be up the next morning no matter how late they went to bed. This was a momentous occasion that neither girl wanted to waste by sleeping.

Their first night back, their last night (for a while) without mounds of schoolwork, their last beginning to a Hogwarts school year. It was scary and maybe a little exciting. Or even the other way around.

Not only would they have to go out into the real world, find jobs—well, those who desired or needed one—take care of themselves, but it would also mean leaving behind people that they had gone to school with for years, people that they had not been close to and might, therefore, not stay in touch with.

Lily had come of age with the marauders. She met the four of them when she was only eleven, and she would be leaving them at seventeen. They had grown up beside her, if not exactly with her. They were the kind of people she felt it may be weird to leave behind. Regardless of whether or not they had ever been friends, they were the marauders. They were part of her schooling, part of her adolescence.

And then the less notorious students that she conversed with on occasion. Would they fade away forever?

And then there was Severus. She knew where he had grown up, she knew where she could attempt to find him if she ever wanted to. But at Hogwarts, she could see him, keep an eye on him. They never talked. But at least when she saw him in the Great Hall…

It was a historic night, and Lily and Alice planned to spend it talking on the common room couch until they became too exhausted to continue.

"Li_ly,"_ said Alice, slapping her leg. "Don't you understand I need to live through you?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Just get back together with Frank."

Alice's face fell. "No, it's not that easy. And anyway, even if I did, he'd still not be here. I need to witness romance."

Lily laughed, leaning her head back against the couch. "Well, I'm sure there'll be other couples to see it from."

Alice took Lily's hands into her own. "But not like you and James. You guys would be _gorgeous _together. At least physically."

"No, Alice."

"But you two are friends now, right?" Alice asked eagerly.

"Yes, but friends does not mean—"

"There's potential, right?"

Lily sighed. She didn't want to be the one to spoil Alice's excitement, especially since nothing seemed to make Alice very happy anymore. "Sure, Alice. There's potential."

Alice squealed. "Yes, yes, yes!"

"So," said Lily, putting her arm around Alice's shoulder. "Tell me what happened."

Alice allowed the gesture and even laid her head on her friend's shoulder, but she said, "No. It's too painful."

Lily did not push her.

"Tell me about _your _summer, distract me."

"Summer was…not the best, not the worst. Not talking to my dad."

"Why?" Alice asked, pulling away from Lily. "What happened?"

This time, it was Lily who denied. Blinking away tears, she said, "I don't want to talk about it."

….

Potentially a serious, serious problem.

James was extremely intelligent and had never had a problem in his studies. He had missed classes in his day and had always managed to catch up, was always quick to understand. He simply had a gift. But this year was the year of the N.E.W.T.s. And though that may have made no difference to him if he were able to pay attention in class every once in a while, the thing was, he couldn't.

James could not take his eyes off her.

It was torturous, cruel, and unfair. Was this the evening out of things? He had had natural talent for years and took advantage of it by fooling around, skipping class, and barely paying attention when he was there. But now—when he really needed to focus—he would not be permitted to?

He had been interested in Lily for years, but now, when the stakes were highest, he seemed even more interested.

Or at least less able to focus on anything else.

But apparently this year, he was not going to be able to focus on anything but Lily Evans.

James smiled as he watched Lily raise her hand to answer the question James hadn't even heard. He listened to her voice, yet somehow not the words. Or maybe he heard each word, but together they didn't make sense. She was so beautiful. Any Defense Against the Dark Arts question or answer would not make sense in this trance of his.

He blinked. She was getting up. She stood up, putting her things hurriedly into her bag. This was James' only cue that class had ended.

Yeah, that had the potential to be problematic.

Author's Note: I like getting reviews. :). _Sick _is next.


	4. Jerks and Cynics

Author's Note: So, I'm kinda picky about the fanfiction I read. Does anyone have a recommendation for a good one? Lily/James, perhaps? Well-written, maybe not _too _cliché? Anyway, hope you enjoy and maybe review. :).

On the sixth of September, Lily was awoken by an awful wail. Audible, but not loud enough to wake many heavy sleepers. Opening her eyes groggily, she looked around for the source of the sound. She didn't have to look long.

"Oh, Alice, honey…"

Alice was curled up into a pitiful near-ball position, tears streaming down her face. "Sorry, Lil. I was trying to be quiet," she said.

Lily shook her head and made her way onto her friend's bed. The other girls in the dorm were still asleep. Lily could always be counted on to wake up at the drop of a pin.

Without a word, Lily pulled Alice up into a sitting position and gave her a gentle, lasting hug, which Alice returned.

"I'm pathetic," said Alice, gripping Lily harder. "Absolutely pathetic."

"No," said Lily. She pulled out of the hug and held her friend at arm's length. Pieces of Alice's blonde hair were sticking to her face. "What's happened?"

Alice sniffled and moved to open her side table drawer. She pulled out a crumpled letter and handed it to Lily.

Lily took the letter and uncrumpled it somewhat. It wasn't very long.

_Ali,_

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You have __no __idea how sorry I am. I love you so much. I will do whatever I can to make it up to you. Please forgive me or give me a chance to prove myself, and then maybe you can forgive me in the future._

_I know I may not deserve it. But please._

_Frank_

Lily shook her head. "Alice, this is nothing to cry about."

Alice ripped the letter out of Lily's hands and shoved it back into her drawer. "Here comes the speech about how my 'little romance' is less important than everything else in the world."

"Alice, I—"

"That people are dying, and I sh—"

"Alice, stop!"

Alice obeyed, but crossed her arms and looked down at her legs.

"Look," said Lily, "I don't mean to belittle things that are important to you. I don't even know what happened between you and Frank, although judging by this letter, I can assume."

Alice looked up, raising an eyebrow.

"Did he cheat on you?"

"You don't know the whole—"

"Alice!" Lily was appalled. "Alice, seriously? The jerk cheats on you, and you're even _considering_ taking him back? Don't you have any self-respect?"

"I was trying to say," said Alice, her eyes flashing with anger, "that you don't know the whole story. It's not how it might seem."

"Is the story bad enough that you broke up? Bad enough that I wake up to you in a lump on your bed crying at five in the morning? Did he cheat? If all of the above are true, I don't need the whole story!"

Lily put two fingers to her left temple and took a deep breath before speaking again, more calmly. "Alice, I just don't want you to let a guy push you around."

"I know," Alice muttered in return, appearing less angry. "And I never said I was considering taking him back."

Lily smiled slightly and nodded her head towards the drawer. "You kept the letter."

"Frank's not a jerk, Lily. Or…the Frank I knew… I'll tell you the story one day—when I can get through it without…without…" Alice paused, trying to fan away coming tears. "Well, without getting like this." She laughed slightly, though it may have been forced. "I love him so much, Lil. Or at least, I did. Now, I don't know…"

Lily nodded. "Well, that's that. It's over. Maybe you'll move on to someone who won't treat you like dirt or better yet, stay single with me."

Alice's eyes widened. "Lily, 'that's that?' You don't get it, do you? It's not that simple. To just say 'I was desperately in love with you, but oh, well. Too bad. Guess it's done now.'"

Lily shrugged. "Why not? Mind power, love."

Alice shook her head slowly, her eyes still wide, as if she couldn't believe her ears. "I really did love him, Lil. Maybe you don't believe that. Maybe you think this is just some teenage crush, but—"

"To be honest with you," Lily interrupted, "I don't really believe in love at all."

Once again, Alice raised her eyebrow. "How can you say that?" she whispered.

"I mean," Lily tried to clarify, "I believe in family love, friend love, but romantic love? 'In love,' as they say…nah."

Alice began blinking rapidly. "How—how have you been my best friend for all these years, and I never knew that?"

Lily laughed. "I don't know if I've always been this way, Alice. I may have just grown into it—realized it's all a scam."

"A scam," Alice repeated, her eyes wide again. "I can tell you whole-heartedly that I was in love with Frank. Can't you take my word for it?"

Lily shifted her eyes away from Alice, now uncomfortable. "Alice, why don't we try to get some more sleep before we have to get up for real?"

"I guess," said Alice slowly. When Lily met Alice's eyes again, they were perhaps more serious than she had ever seen them before.

….

"Me and Pot—James, I mean. Such a hard habit to break. Anyway, we've got to start patrolling tonight. Sounds exciting, right?"

Lily looked over to where the boy in question sat not too far from them, whispering excitedly to Remus Lupin.

"Mhm," said Alice, looking down at her essay.

Alice had been very quiet since their early morning chat, and Lily had had it.

"Alice, come on. Stop acting like this. If you want to write to Frank and get back with him, go ahead. If that'll make you happy, go for it. I wouldn't trust him, but your prerogative. And if this is because of what I said about love, forget it. That's my belief. It doesn't have to be yours."

"Not so loud," said Alice.

Lily often lifted her voice with her temper.

"Lil, it just breaks my heart to see that you have given up on one of the world's greatest things," said Alice.

"I didn't say I gave up. I just—look, I don't want to say anymore and ruin your happiness, Alice."

"I just want you to be happy," said Alice. She bit her lip.

"I don't need a man for that. In fact, I'll be much happier without one," said Lily. "Come on, let's act like this morning never happened. You can quiz me on Potions and get mad every time I get one right."

Alice shrugged. "Better than trying to write this paper."

James caught Lily's eyes and smiled at her. Lily tried to smile back.

….

"I will not mess this up. I will not mess this up. I will not mess this up. I will no—"

"Lovely mantra you've got there, Prongs," Sirius called from his bed, "but I think your reflection gets the point."

James opened the bathroom door all the way and stood in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. Sirius, who was flipping through a magazine, didn't look up.

"I have to walk through the castle tonight with a girl who once hated me, and knowing me, I could screw up everything I've gained in a second," said James. "So, excuse me if I'm a bit cautious."

Sirius laughed. He finally looked up, a smirk on his face. "In other words, you've become a girl to get close to the girl."

"Shut it," said James.

"Don't tease, Padfoot," Remus piped up from his bed. "James may be in _love."_

"And thank you, Remus, for making it worse," said James. "I suppose I should…get going."

James took a deep breath and made his way slowly to the closed door of their dormitory. Peter yelled, however, before he touched the knob.

"Hey, James!"

James turned around and looked at Peter questioningly.

"Pants and shoes might be a good idea."

James blinked. Looking down, he realized that Peter was right; he had managed to remember his robes, and he had a shirt underneath, but there were no pants covering his underwear and no shoes covering his socks.

What this woman did to his head.

"I'd better not be late," James muttered, rushing to his dresser.

When James got down to the Common Room only moments later, he found the girl he was looking for quickly. Lily Evans was laying in an armchair near the portrait facing the dormitory staircases, her legs swinging over the arm.

She flipped her legs over into a sitting position when James came near enough.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm exhausted."

"No problem," said James.

Lily got herself slowly out of the chair and rubbed her eyes. "Guess we should get started," she said, leading James out of the Common Room. "Thank Merlin we only have to do a few places. I'd fall straight to sleep if we had to go 'round the entire castle."

James tried to keep speed with Lily as they walked, neither walking too fast or too slow for her. Since there was silence between them, it wasn't as difficult as it could have been trying to focus on how comfortable she seemed with their pace.

For a good ten minutes, there were no words, and James wasn't sure if he was supposed to strike up a conversation or leave them in their silence. Which would Lily want? Was she feeling awkward? Did she want silence?

As they were passing Professor McGonagall's classroom, Lily ended up breaking it herself.

"How are you, James?"

James glanced up from the floor to find Lily watching him, a small and tired, yet sweet and pretty smile on her face.

"Oh," he said. "Well, I'm…I'm doing fine. What about you?"

"Same," said Lily.

They fell into silence once more. Instead of staring at the floor, James tried to look at Lily as much as possible without being caught. She wrung her hands, seeming uncomfortable. James decided to be the one to speak first this time.

"You want to tell me about your sister?"

James rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. He'd said one of the first things that came to his head. Of course she didn't want to talk about her sister, and she would have thought him either an idiot or a jerk for asking.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "That was stupid. I was just trying…"

"To make conversation," Lily finished. "It's not like she's a dead friend. I'm fine talking about her. You really want to know?"

"If you don't mind, sure," said James, relieved. "She's muggle, right?"

Lily nodded. "Yeah, her name's Petunia. She's three years older than I."

"And you don't get along?"

James saw Lily scowl, an expression he was all too familiar with. "Not much anymore."

James took a chance and put his hand on Lily's shoulder. "If you want to t—"

But Lily was talking before he finished, faster than he'd ever heard her before. Even her steps quickened.

"You'd think I'd be _used _to it by now, right? I mean, I'm seventeen, so this has been going on for—at least five years. Shouldn't I be over it? So _what _if we'll never be best friends? Things end, things change. That's the way life goes, right?"

James didn't answer any of these questions, as Lily did not give him much of a chance.

"But I still can't get over it. We were _so _close, and now we're _so _far. Like we could be in the same room and a million miles away. She hates me for being who I am. Or resents me, dislikes me, whatever it is. She's not a fan. And now she has this boyfriend, and the two of them are in this—this _coalition _against me, and it doesn't make any—I never did anything _wrong. _I was always willing to include her, and she…"

Lily broke off. "I'm sorry. I never talk this much." She laughed.

"Don't apologize," said James. "It's not a problem at all."

James would have liked to have told her that he loved to hear her speak, but he wasn't sure that would have been the best move.

"I really don't like to complain on and on about it, but it sometimes just blows up," said Lily.

James nodded. "That's why you've got to complain from time to time. It builds up. But if you want to let it blow up on me, it's really no big deal."

"That's sweet," said Lily.

James' heart nearly burst out of his chest.

He was desperate to continue conversation and make things even better. They were running out of time.

"So, why are you practically falling asleep tonight?"

"Alice had me up early," said Lily. "I had a hard time falling back to sleep."

"Can I ask why? About Alice, I mean."

Lily sighed. "Oh, you know. _Romance."_

James raised an eyebrow. "Romance…with Alice…waking you up early?"

"I _mean," _said Lily, "she was crying. She broke up with Frank Longbottom this summer, and apparently the relationship was pretty important or something. He's trying to get her back, and apparently that's _sad _because she loves or loved him? I don't know. The whole thing is ludicrous to me. Especially since he cheated on her. And none of our other roommates wake up. I mean, a _tornado _could come through, and they'd sleep through it."

"Sorry about the roommates…if that's a bad thing. Frank cheated on her?"

"That's what I've gathered. Although, apparently, I don't know 'the whole story.'"

"That," said James, shaking his head, "does not sound like Frank."

"Yeah, well…just goes to show you," said Lily.

James turned to Lily, but she was looking straight ahead. They were only a few steps away from the Common Room.

"Show you what?" he asked.

Lily did not answer him. She walked silently to the portrait hole and smiled. "Sleep at last."


	5. Mistakes

Author's Note: Back at college (for about 6-7 weeks now) and busy busy busy busy. Please forgive me for the delay. Please don't assume I've gone back to the abandonment. I'm here, people. I am. But I'm busy and having a hard life right now. Anyway… Please enjoy.

"How did it go?"

James had barely set foot in his dorm room when his three friends turned on him, all expectant, all with the same question, all at the same time.

He laughed softly. "It went okay."

Sirius sighed. "What did you _do?"_

"Nothing!" said James, offended. He collapsed onto his bed.

"It's just," started Remus gently, "your tone—"

James cut him off. "Did you _know _that Frank cheated on Alice?"

Sirius scoffed. "Did Lily suggest he did? Because—"

James raised an eyebrow. "Lily wouldn't lie."

James' word always settled the matter. Sirius didn't try to interject, to say what he might have said about Lily's word not being sound. If James said Lily was correct, Lily was correct. No doubts about it.

Remus looked thoughtful. "That's very odd. Frank adored her."

"Seriously," said Sirius. "That'd be like James cheating on Lily."

Again, James raised an eyebrow in his direction. "I think I'd have to win a date first to cheat."

Sirius waved this off. "You'll get there, mate."

James shrugged, burrowing his head into his pillow. "Of course…eventually."

James wished he were really that confident.

….

"Oh, thank _God _you're back, Lily."

Mary grabbed Lily by the arm almost as soon as she walked into the room."You need to talk to Alice," she whispered, leading her to Alice's bed. "She only listens to you."

Lily sighed, wondering what she would have to deal with now.

Alice lay motionless, her body curled slightly, no sign on tears on her face. She held an envelope in her hand.

Lily resisted an eye-roll and took a seat by Alice's feet. "Have you opened it?" Lily asked gently, placing her hand on her friend's back.

Alice shook her head slowly.

"Good," said Lily. "Hand it over."

Alice met Lily's eyes fearfully. "Why?"

"Trust me," said Lily. "You know I want what's best for you."

With a shaking hand and fear in her eyes, Alice slowly handed the unopened letter to Lily. She watched as Lily tore it into tiny pieces, scooped the pieces off the bed, and took the pile to the bathroom. When she returned, she was empty-handed.

Alice bit her lip. "Lily, but—"

"For the best, Alice," said Lily firmly. "Trust me."

Then, Alice buried her face into her pillow. And cried.

Lily, her job as tough-love best friend completed, walked to her own bed, removed her shoes, and spread out on her back. Her other roommates were already asleep. Mary kept to herself, focusing on her homework, and Alice cried. Lily lay quietly in her bed, somewhat wishing someone would ask her how patrolling went, wishing that someone wanted to listen to her.

"By the way, Lily."

Lily glanced toward Mary, waiting for more.

"You had a letter, too. Catch!"

Being the closest to the window, Mary often stacked letters on her nightstand. She threw Lily's letter across the room, landing conveniently on Lily's stomach; she did not bother trying to catch it.

Lily groaned. She could have determined who it was from just based on the penmanship.

Her father.

She ripped her letter in a few pieces and stashed them under the bed. Unlike Alice's, the pieces did not to be disintegrated to dust-like particles and flushed down the toilet. Lily had good self-control. Not to mention, she would not even be tempted to look. Alice would.

….

Lily hated romance. She hated dating. She hated the idea that you had to look a certain way, dress a certain way, talk a certain way. All for the opposite sex. She hated the entire institution of marriage, cheaters, liars, and fakers. She hated the bullshit, the "I love yous" between a girl and a boy the day after they met. A day was not always enough to tell if you could fully like a person as a friend. How could you possibly be in love, a feeling which Lily did not believe existed anyway, after a few hours of talking?

Lily hated it all.

And she really hated the kissing, giggling, and embracing session that was going on in front of her on the way to class. She had no choice but to look in front of her in order to see where she was going. She could not avert her eyes. She could only satisfy herself by glaring at them. He had his arm around her waist. Every once in a while, he would steal a kiss. She would giggle. They would hug. They could not hug without stopping dead in front of Lily.

It was so freaking cute.

Stopping short and nearly smashing into them every two minutes was really cute.

Watching them swap spit was adorable.

It was so freaking cute Lily could _hardly _freaking stand it.

If she wanted to watch people kiss, she—

"Lily!"

Lily turned, thankful for the distraction, to see James making his way to her. She managed a small smile and waited for him to catch up, letting the couple get further ahead. She was never so thankful for James Potter.

James smiled brightly, as usual, and reached out as if to hug her, but pulled back. He probably hoped she didn't notice. She did.

"How are you?" he asked, smile still on his face.

"Fine," said Lily, starting to walk again. "Where are your friends?"

"You _are_ my friend, Lily," said James. "But since you meant the marauders, they had a bit of a late start today."

"Oh, I see," said Lily, shaking your head. "Skipping Potions, then?"

James shrugged. "They might show up late. Do you want to sit with me?"

The poor boy's eyes lit up at the mere idea of sitting with Lily, and she wanted to laugh. It was sweet, in a way. Maybe. Telling him he could sit with her would delight him for a bit, sure. But was that leading him on? She did not need to hurt James by making him think he was getting somewhere, and then not letting him get anywhere.

Lily smiled and rolled her eyes. "Sure, James."

It was harmless. They were friends. And they were going to sit together in class. Absolutely harmless. And if James took it the wrong way, he would have to learn sooner or later that these kinds of things don't always point to romance. If Lily had to be the one to teach him that, she would handle that burden.

But the way his eyes lit up was just too intense for a friendly sit-next-to-me in class kind of thing.

"I'm not doing your work for you, though," she added.

James laughed. "I was not expecting that at all."

Merlin only knew what he was expecting. Lily could only hope it wasn't much.

The marauders, as James so naturally called them, (as if it was not an odd thing to call one's friends) never showed. Perhaps James had planned it, told them not to come, so that he could have a good excuse to sit next to Lily.

They received very odd looks throughout the entire class. James seemed oblivious to them, maybe because he was always being looked at. He focused on Lily and, oddly enough, the class itself. Lily was not oblivious to the looks—some of annoyance and some of pure confusion. Some people even looked pleased.

When Lily was finally able to leave Potions, she was glad she would be able to calm herself down. Controlling her temper could be very difficult at times, and the faces were pushing her.

James waited while she packed up her supplies, calmly and smilingly. When she was done, they left the room together, receiving many raised eyebrows.

After a few minutes of silent walking, James spoke.

"What's the matter?" he questioned. "Who irritated you?"

Lily turned to look at him, which actually required looking up quite a few inches. "Nobody irritated me. I'm fine."

James laughed. "I'm experienced with your expressions, especially the negative ones. Believe me. If you don't want to tell me, though—"

"How could you have not noticed their stares?" Lily interrupted, dropping the act. "The ha-ha smiles, the raised eyebrows, the _fury _or annoyance. I mean, you'd think I was doing something so much more important than sitting next to you."

James laughed again, seeming even more amused.

"How could you not have noticed?" Lily asked again.

James shrugged. "I'm used to looks. Of multiple kinds. I don't pay attention. But they weren't looking at _me _this time."

"Right," said Lily, sighing. "I was getting glares for sitting in a bloody chair."

"The 'ha-ha smiles,' as you called them, were about the same as saying, 'I knew you'd give in,'" said James. "Which, I know," he added quickly, "you haven't. But that's the way they see it. As for the raised eyebrows, teenagers have nothing better to do with their lives than to focus on other teenagers' lives, apparently. It was odd, you have to admit, for two 'enemies' to sit together in class. And finally, the anger…"

"The stupid anger," said Lily, rolling her eyes.

"Perhaps," said James. "Basically, they're not happy they don't get to have me, and you didn't want me for so long, and now you do. Not that you have me. I mean…not that I have you. Or that we're together. I mean, _I _personally know that's not the case, but obviously…that's what it looks like to them. Or that we're moving somewhere down that path, and not that we _are. _I'm not saying we _are."_

For some reason, James' flustered explanation both calmed and amused Lily, and her frustration was effectively destroyed.

"I know, James," she said, rolling her eyes again. But this time, it was light-hearted. "Relax."

He did. It was as if nothing had bothered him in the first place. "So, how's Alice doing?"

Concern was brought back to Lily. "Not too great," she said. "Better, in the sense that she's letting me help her in the way I see fit, but she's not very happy."

"That's a shame," said James. "I could try to talk to Frank if that would be of any help."

"That's all right," said Lily. "I kind of want her to let him drop off the face of the earth. Not letting her read his letters."

"He's been writing?" said James.

"Yeah, didn't I mention that?"

"Maybe," said James. "What's he been saying?"

"I don't know," said Lily. "I mean, his first letter—the first that I knew of, at least—was about sorry, I want you back, blah blah."

"Oh," said James. "And she doesn't want him back?"

"James! He cheated on her! He's not getting her back, whether she wants it or not. And I don't know why she would."

"But…if he's sorry—"

"He shouldn't have done it."

"Of course not, but if he knows he messed up—"

"Who's side are you _on? _Are you seriously defending cheating? I should have ex—"

"Lily, may—may I please speak?"

Under normal circumstances, she may not have allowed it, but his hesitation won him the opportunity. But she crossed her arms and glared ahead of them "Go ahead."

James sighed. "I'm not defending the cheating. But sometimes people make mistakes."

"Not that kind of mistake," said Lily. "That is a conscious choice, a stupid choice, and it makes no sense how you could…I mean, how long does it take you to realize you're making mistake? An hour?"

"I don't know," said James calmly. "I've never done it. But I don't know if you can…if you can rate mistakes that way. A mistake is a mistake, and I think if you admit to it…and are sorry for it… Well, I don't think you should be condemned forever when nobody is perfect."

"People aren't perfect. And they make mistakes. Like forgetting to pick up something from the store for your mother or getting an answer wrong on the test. But consciously choosing to do something that will hurt someone else… I cannot accept that as a forgivable mistake."

"Well, in certain circumstances, it might not—"

"I don't want to hear about circumstances!" Lily took a deep breath after yelling and thanked Merlin there was no one in the corridor to hear it. More quietly, she said, "I don't want to hear about any circumstances. It is always your choice, and if you choose to screw up, you take the consequences."

"I understand, but it's such a harsh way to live that people can't be allowed to make mistakes."

"So, they should be allowed to cheat?"

"No, but… I don't know, Lily. I just don't think that's Frank. He probably made a mistake that he'd give both his legs to take back."

"He didn't have to do it in the first place, and he would have had Alice and all his limbs."

"True," said James. "So, this was your last class today?"

James had managed to distract her enough that she hadn't realized they were nearly back to the Common Room already.

"Yeah," said Lily softly.

James muttered the password. Things had become semi-uncomfortable. She gave him a quick good-bye before leaving him at the entrance.

….

"So, if you screw up, you hit the road? Damn. James, you're _never _going to get her. You've already screwed up for years."

"I didn't even think of that!" James groaned and punched his pillow. "I was too busy worrying about making her yell at me and showing further differences to her."

"Sirius, don't scare him," said Remus. "James, this is a bit different than cheating on her. The screw-ups you had were not while dating her. You didn't cheat."

"No," said James. "I tortured and humiliated her best friend."

"Yes," said Remus. "You're right, that's bad…"

"That's very bad!" said James. "How can I ever win her over if she won't forgive my mistakes?"

"Well…" said Sirius slowly.

James turned to him questioningly.

"I mean, she's obviously not fully sticking to these rules. She's your friend, isn't she?"

"Sirius is right," said Peter. "She doesn't hate you."

"That has to be a good sign," Sirius added.

James bit his lip. "I don't know. She _yelled _at me."

Sirius laughed. "James, she yells at _everyone. _That makes no difference at all."

Author's Note: Kinda short, but there you go.


End file.
